“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.” -unknown
I once knew a person who did a lot of dishonest things that hurt people I cared about. Then years later he decided to come back to attempt to hurt those people yet again. This person’s behavior is goes beyond reprehensible.
When someone does evil things and then willfully continues to do even more evil things, how do you possibly forgive them?
It’s one thing to forgive someone for past grievances and I think most of us get fairly good at forgiving things that happened in the past because time tends to be the great healer of wounds.
But when things are happening in the present and they are causing damage to you and/or people you care about, it is incredibly difficult to forgive the person causing it. Sometimes it feels flat out impossible.
My husband and I were discussing the situation and I asked him the question of how to forgive someone who is so evil and so willing to keep causing hurt? My husband’s response was something that really hit home – he expressed that the only way to do it is to make the decision to forgive them – it’s a choice – and you have to make a choice to forgive. All my analyzing and soul searching and pondering on the matter and he had summed it up with the only answer there really is to the question – you make the choice to forgive them. Not to benefit them, but to keep their behavior from destroying your own heart.
We can take comfort in the fact that bad people will get what’s coming to them at some point…whether they pay for their bad behavior in this life (ideally) or it will happen in the next life – but guaranteed they will ultimately have to account for what they have done. There is peace in knowing that.
And so I decided to make the choice to forgive. There is far more value in focusing our attention and efforts on doing good things in the world…that’s good for the heart.
Have a wonderful day!