Amy Rees Anderson

Haters Don’t Really Hate You

“Haters don’t really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.” – unknown

How much do you love that quote?! Right!! Love it! It’s awesome.

I would guess everyone has had to deal with haters at one point or another in their life, whether it’s a school bully growing up, or a mean-spirited adult. When someone is a hater they do everything in their power to make others feel small and to tear other people down. They often come off as incredibly confident and pleased with themselves, but the reality is that they are neither of those things.  Haters are insecure and unhappy with themselves, and they manifest it by spreading hate…after all, misery loves company…

I wish every kid out there could have a copy of the quote above so they could understand that haters don’t actually hate the person they hate on at all. They hate themselves because they wish they could be everything that you are!

If anyone reading this is thinking to themselves “the girl hating on me is so pretty” or “the guy bullying me is so athletic” or “the coworker hating on me is so smart” so you are wondering how they could possibly be insecure or want to be you when are so great themselves?   Guess what, they are absolutely insecure because haters haven’t yet learned to value themselves – if they did value themselves then they wouldn’t be picking on you! I guarantee that.

Happy and secure people don’t tear other people down. In fact, happy and secure people build other people up and that is why they continue to be so happy – they are comfortable in their own skin and happy with themselves so they don’t sit and compare themselves to others because they recognize that we are all amazing in our own way, which allows them to be happy for others rather than envying them.

So the next time you are dealing with a hater, try something novel – try giving them a genuine compliment. Don’t throw up on that idea, just try it. Honestly find something you admire about that person and find way to tell them. Give them a compliment. It may feel awkward and uncomfortable at first, but that’s okay. No matter how awkward it feels to do you will walk away from it feeling better about yourself, whether they respond favorably or not. You know why? Because you giving them a sincere compliment shows that you are a secure and happy person yourself! So smile and feel good and if they hate on you tomorrow do it again…the more you do it the happier you will be, and maybe one day they will actually take the compliment to heart and start to see that they do have value…once they get that they will stop being a hater and start being nice.

Happy day everyone!

~Amy

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