“Haters don’t really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.” – unknown
Today was World Day for Bullying Prevention, so it seems appropriate to share some past thoughts I’ve shared about bullying:
Haters, bullies, mean people – they all suffer from one of the following:
1. They hate themselves,
2. They want to be you, or
3. They see you as a threat
Think about it – “Have you ever met a hater doing better than you? Me Neither….”
There are far too many examples of haters in the world today. Our schools are full of bullies. Our political arena is full of haters throwing shade at one another. Our news broadcasts are full of hateful rhetoric and angry interviews. Social media is rampant with examples of people being bullies and haters posting mean comments, telling lies about others, spreading rumors that aren’t true, and vilifying total strangers they know nothing about,,, And all of this gets done by individuals who have led themselves to believe that tearing someone else down will make them feel better about who they are…but they are wrong…
People who bully and hate on others are insecure and unhappy themselves. They think by putting others down they will lift themselves up…but they won’t…. They will only sink deeper into their own unhappiness because hate only begets more hate…
So what can you do if there is a hater or a bully in your life?
1. I learned long ago that you can’t change someone else – they have to be the ones to change themselves. You can only control yourself and how you treat others. You cannot control how they will treat you, and the more you try, the more frustrated you’ll become. So just focus on controlling yourself and how you behave.
2. For our own sake we have to forgive the haters – no exceptions. However, forgiving does not mean allowing them to stay in your life. You can completely forgive someone, wish them the best, and still choose to remove them from your life. God expects us to forgive. God doesn’t expect us to subject ourselves to abusive situations. You have the right to remove yourself from people who are abusive with you or toxic to be around.
3. Never be less than who you are meant to be in an attempt to please a bully. You can never do enough to make a hater happy. Happiness is a choice we all make for ourselves, no one makes it for us. So stay focused on being the very best person you can be.
4. Be kind. Keep in mind that the reason the person is being a bully is they are insecure and unhappy with themselves so if anyone needs kindness its them. And realize that your biggest haters are actually your biggest fans.
So if you are dealing with a bully know that you must be pretty darn AWESOME or no one would have hated on you in the first place.
~Amy Rees Anderson (author of the newly released book “What Awesome Looks Like: How To Excel in Business & Life” )