Helpful Holiday Diet Tips and the Tale of My Stolen Toffee

I was so happy today when I saw a pretty blue box of V-Chocolates had been delivered to my office…then I was a LOT LESS happy when I discovered that my two business partners at REES Capital had gotten to the box before I saw it and the two of them had eaten almost all of the toffee and caramels. I quickly confronted them about eating my present to which they responded, “We were just trying to do you a favor by saving you from all those calories.” GRRRRRRR

No doubt calories are a huge struggle during the holidays. I LOVE eating holiday goodies…fudge…toffee…Christmas cookies…there are just so many yummy treats around this season! I love everything except gaining holiday weight. They say people gain an average of 7 to 10 pounds during the holiday season and given that I’m a person who eats far too much over the holidays and who is also morally opposed to exercising (kidding…but not really…) I always end up gaining on the high end of that average… but I still wanted that toffee!

And clearly my business partners don’t understand the list of helpful holiday diet tips I choose to live by. I’m not sure who originally came up with these tips but I agree with every single one of them:

Helpful Holiday Diet Tips

-If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories

-If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out

-If you eat standing up, it doesn’t count!

-STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards

-If you eat the food off someone else’s plate, it doesn’t count

-Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage cause calorie leakage

-Food used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes: any chocolate used for energy, cheesecake, and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream

-When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount

-Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel. This includes: Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

So to my two partners who ate my toffee I would say “It wasn’t doing me a favor because I was going to eat that toffee standing up, therefore, the calories wouldn’t have counted! So you two owe me a replacement box of toffee!!!”  #callout

Have a great weekend everyone! Eat some treats and let’s boost that weight gain average together 😉

~Amy Rees Anderson

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