“No matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that.”
When someone hurts your feelings you have two choices: You can hold on to the anger and bitterness and let it continuously bother you, or you can decide to forgive them and move on. In the moment of getting hurt it can seem pretty compelling to want to hold a grudge and be angry, but when you step back and look at the impact it can have on you it becomes a lot more obvious why you ought to simply forgive and move on.
In an article written by the Mayo Clinic Staff they cite the downsides of holding a grudge are that you:
- Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
- Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present
- Become depressed or anxious
- Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs
- Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others
On the other hand, the benefits to forgiving someone are numerous. They list the benefits that come from forgiving someone are that you have:
- Healthier relationships
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Stronger immune system
- Improved heart health
- Higher self-esteem
So when you measure the downside of holding a grudge versus the benefits of forgiving it is a pretty compelling argument for why you should just forgive whoever hurt your feelings and move forward. One trick to help might be to print off a note card with the benefits of forgiving on one side and the downside of holding a grudge on the other side. Then keep the card with you so whenever some hurts your feelings you can pull out your card and remind yourself how you would rather move forward.
“When you forgive you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future.” –Bernard Meltzer
So forgive and move forward with a smile! Have a great day everyone!