Amy Rees Anderson

Love, True Love, and Advice for making it last

Last week my husband and I hosted his Mother’s family reunion for her siblings and their spouses (so Rollin and I’s Aunts and Uncles from his Mother’s side) at our home. From her 10 siblings, 6 were able to attend with their spouses. Each of these couples have been married for many, many years. One night during the reunion Rollin and I asked each of these couples to share some words of advice with our son Dalton on how to have a happy marriag, as our son Dalton who has been dating with the intention of getting married and we thought their advice might benefit him in the future. After all, who could give better advice on a happy marriage then these couples who have withstood the test of time with their own marriages and who still deeply love their spouses?

As they went around the room sharing some tips with Dalton I tried to write down their pearls of wisdom so I could share them with all of you too. After all, I figure we could all benefit, married or not, from their words. I know I did.

As you read these keep in mind that some are from the husbands and some are from the wives…I didn’t note which they were from as I wrote them down but I chuckled as I typed up my notes tonight because on several of them it is painfully obvious they came from the husbands 😉   …like the first several on the list for example 🙂

“When you feel like saying something, you probably shouldn’t.”

“Darned if you do, and darned if you don’t.”

“When you have an argument and you know you are right…like 100% right….apologize and say you’re sorry…you may not be sorry…but you are going to be, if you don’t apologize.”

“There is an old saying that states ‘Love means never having to say you are sorry’, that’s not true. Love means you BETTER say you are sorry!”

“Keep your mouth shut and let things go. Some things aren’t worth being right over.”

“When your wife is upset…clearly upset…just love her and kid her a little. Get her to laugh and just love her!”

“Always remember that it is your job to make your spouse look good to others. Never publicly get a laugh at your spouse’s expense, rather, learn the art of praising them in public.”

“Never retire at night with bad feelings toward each other.”

“Always remember, actions speak louder than words.”

“If you pray together, you cannot stay mad about it. So pray together each night.”

“Express your opinion but don’t be mean about it. Be okay to have a differing opinions sometimes.”

“You can choose who does something, or how it’s done…but you can’t choose both.”

“Never stop flirting with your spouse and never stop having fun together. It comes naturally when you date but not so much after your married, so make the effort to always keep flirting with your spouse.”

“Write a note to your spouse listing two things – 1. I love you because…. and 2. I love you most when….”

“Nothing in life is worth losing the Spirit of the Lord over.”

I think the last one is my favorite! All of their tips are great advice to consider as we try to improve our own relationships and marriages. I think the clear theme to their words was that we need to be slow to anger, quick to apologize, and never stop flirting, laughing, having fun, loving and praying with our spouse.

Thanks to Rollin’s Parents and our Aunts and Uncles for their great advice! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

~Amy

 

2 Comments

  • Danae says:

    Thanks for capturing this-great advice!

  • Joan L says:

    One that my parents (married 60 some years) espouse is that the three most important words in marriage are not “I love you,” but instead, “You’re probably right!”

    We always get a laugh about that one.

    Thanks, Amy!

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