“To love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.” –unknown
Today is my friendly public service reminder that Valentine’s Day is this Wednesday! And to any of you who have a significant other in your life, no matter how many times they tell you “its fine if you don’t get me anything”, it is NEVER ACTUALLY FINE to not get them something…that, my friends, is what we call a trap that you do not want to be so unwise as to fall into. Now that being said, there is no specific dollar amount you must spend in order to show your love, and in fact if you listen to John Gray’s advice in his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, you will learn that a man will get as much credit with his wife by buying her one rose as he does when he gets her a dozen roses, because women score each gift equally regardless of the size, so his advice is to do a lot of little things rather than just doing one big thing. Dr Gray states,
“A man thinks he scores high with a woman when he does something very big for her, like buying her a new car or taking her on a vacation. He assumes he scores less when he does something small, like opening the car door, buying her a flower, or giving her a hug. Based on this kind of score keeping, he believes he will fulfill her best by focusing his time, energy, and attention into doing something large for her. This formula, however, doesn’t work because women keep score differently.
When a woman keeps score, no matter how big or small a gift of love is, it scores one point; each gift has equal value. Its size doesn’t matter; it gets a point. A man, however, thinks he scores one point for one small gift and thirty points for a big gift. Since he doesn’t understand that women keep score differently, he naturally focuses his energies into one or two big gifts.
A man doesn’t realize that to a woman the little things are just as important as the big things. In other words, to a woman, a single rose gets as many points as paying the rent on time. “
….something for you men to think about when you are trying to figure out what to do for your wives or sweetheart this Wednesday. His book even goes on to list 101 small things a man can do to score points with a woman, and frankly I would add item 102 to his list and put for a man to buy that book for himself and let his wife see he is reading it 🙂 – that in and of itself would be a fantastic surprise for a wife to see that her husband cared enough to actually read a book that taught ways he could improve their relationship.
As for the wives, we can gain points with our husbands by purchasing a copy of Dr. Laura’s book, The Proper Care And Feeding Of A Husband, and letting our husbands see us reading it. Because most men know that this book teaches wives that the easiest ways to make their man happy are to feed him, give him plenty of physical attention, and don’t criticize him. And what husband doesn’t want his wife to follow that guidance?! 🙂
I’m just hoping I’ll be over being sick by Valentine’s Day because nothing says “un-sexy” like coughing up a bunch of phlegm! 🙁
Whatever you decide to do for your Valentine this week just make sure to plan ahead! Order those flowers, pick up those chocolates, and get that card so you aren’t having to scrounge through the last few remaining cards in the aisle of the grocery store that no one else was willing to buy. And make sure whatever gift you decide to give that special someone in your life, the most important thing you can do is to remind them of all of the magic you see in them.
~Amy Rees Anderson