The Good Wife’s Guide – NOT!

Okay, this article I found is hilarious – and unbelievable at the same time – but still crazy hilarious –  I am talking roll on the floor funny.  The fact that any woman actually bought into this amazes me…I don’t care how many years ago this was…this article had to be written by a man…I mean really…I don’t even have words for this…so I had to share it with all of you. 

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am not someone who doesn’t value a wife being a good homemaker. I have ultimate respect for that job because it is incredibly difficult and many times completely unrecognized and unappreciated.  There are few jobs harder than being the CEO of your own home and that is exactly what most women are (and some single dads or stay home dads as well).  But no wife should ever have felt like she needed to do a few items on this list that were downright ridiculous…you will be able to pick out which items I am referring to.  So give it a read and then try to laugh about it because otherwise you will want to cry and that will just make your eyes red and puffy and unattractive and according to the article below we should look beautiful at all times if we want to be seen as a “Good Wife”.  I added the red font below for the parts that were especially my favorites – WHATEVER!

 

The Good Wife’s Guide.

Extract from Housekeeping Monthly, 1955.

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.  His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
  • Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare a light fire for him to unwind by.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.  After all, catering for his comfort will give you immense personal satisfaction.
  • Prepare the children.  Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.  Minimize all noise.  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important that yours.
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  • Your goal:  Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where you husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  • Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  • Make him comfortable.  Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.

 

Actual article shown below:

 

8 Comments

  • Heidi Harrison says:

    Amy,
    I don’t know what you are talking about. This is exactly what my husband comes home to every night. (In his dreams.) He would only be all to happy if I ‘knew my place’. Through our 20+ years of marriage, he has learned that the meek wife he thought he wanted is not what has made him happy. Thank you for the laugh.

  • Steph Featherstone says:

    Oh. My. Gosh. Seriously? Some of those “rules” really irk me, not going to lie. I am a firm believer that women deserve to think for themselves, and that when it comes to marriage husbands and wives are equal. “Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.” Really? REALLY? Anyway, I’ll spare you the rant about how totally sexist this thing sounds…Lol.

  • Anonymous says:

    Amy! These are hilarious!

    P.S. We all miss you dearly here at MediConnect 🙁 Are you really coming in to the office for Trick-or-Treating? We would LOVE to see you!

  • Brittany says:

    So funny (and irritating!)
    Sure glad I was born when I was!

  • Leta says:

    My mother showed that to me YEARS ago, I laughed hysterically then… Apparently I would have made a very BAD “good wife”… unless heavily medicated

  • Connie Houskeeper says:

    I was 8 yrs.old when this was written. We had no need to lock our doors. Polio was just concurred and most women could stay home if they wanted and did not need to work. The economy was not great but the dollar was worth more. Doors were open for women. Men stood when a woman came in the room. Children were expected to respect their elders. Life was simplar. Even though this article does not show how the family really did worked and is rediculous at it’s base. It does show a kind of naive innnocents we have lost.

  • Some Guy says:

    You can all say what you will but I will tell you this, if I had a wife like that there is nothing in this world I would fail to do for her. I would rub her feet, open doors, tell her how great she is, and call several times a day just to tell her that I love her. She could have my paycheck and anything else she wanted. I would drive a go-cart to work if that is what it took to be able to buy her a nice car.

  • Kathleen says:

    The phrase “man overboard!” Comes to mind…

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