Amy Rees Anderson

The “Man Cold”

This week my husband came down with a horrible sinus cold, which he then managed to pass on to me and my daughter.  Fabulous!  So this week all three of us are suffering from sinus colds, however, it is absolutely incredible to see the difference in how each of us manages to cope with it.  Ashley and I, while feeling horrible with a stuffy head, achy body, and cough, still manage to be functional human beings.  Rollin, however, was a whole other story.  He lay on the couch whining and calling out for me to take care of him, bring him his soup, and baby him as if his entire world was falling apart.  I on the other hand, needed to prepare the meals, do the laundry and keep our household functioning.  Is my sickness any less serious than his – NO – but in his mind he has something far more serious than I have – I may have a cold, but he has a MAN COLD. 

The urban dictionary defines the Man Cold as:

A true terrible, debilitating disease. Nearly all men will die from man colds unless they are administered immediately with large amounts of mindless TV or childrens’ cartoons. It is essential that they not move from bed or a comfy sofa to allow for rehabilitation, and must have tissues and man cold medicine (such as chocolate biscuits, McDonalds, or a nice cup of tea) brought to them constantly by a nearby female.

The truth is I had never heard of the Man Cold before, but it just so happens that my little brother, who happens to also be a doctor, is staying with us this week and when he saw the state my husband was in he immediately diagnosed him as having a Man Cold.  When I asked him what the Man Cold was he immediately directed me to watch the following video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

So how do you treat your man if he has a Man Cold?  Writer Mochadad gave some tips on how to treat a man with a Man Cold:

  • Do not put him in bed. Instead, let him recoup on a comfy couch.
  • Turn on the TV – fast. Find some sports or cartoons and give him the remote control.
  • He’ll be too weak to call for you, so make sure to check in on him every three minutes. A little bell is also helpful.
  • He’ll need an endless supply of tissues, fast food, cookies and lots of tea.
  • Once he shows signs of improvement (by asking you what you’re doing every 10 minutes), he’s ready for movie therapy. Star Wars, James Bond, or sports related movies work well during this next step in the man cold treatment plan. Note: No matter how much he begs, do not let him watch “Brian’s Song.” In his weakened state, the emotional drain will be too much for him.
  • If a week has gone by and there’s no improvement, bring out the big guns: have a chick flick marathon consisting of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, Steel Magnolias, and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and if he’s not in the shower after that, tell him you can’t remember if you feed a cold, starve a fever or the reverse, so you’d better ask your mother to come over

Apparently following those instructions will help your man heal more quickly.  If you are wondering how women are supposed to be treated for a Woman Cold – yeah, well I tried to google that to see what would come up and the top search result I got was “Why are women always cold?”, written by a man…..argggghhhh….Men….Gotta love them 🙂

~Amy

10 Comments

  • Mark Hester says:

    I get it Rollin. I’m with you buddy!

  • Barbara Zimonja says:

    Hysterical…this is script material for a documentary, as it sure ain’t fiction!

  • Leta says:

    THAT is too funny, I never knew they had a complete diagnosis for this… I just figured they were big babies when sick 🙂
    Hope you and Ashley feel better soon Amy!

  • Steph Featherstone says:

    Amy, I love this post! Fortunately, my dad has never had a Man Cold (at least nothing too severe I think) and I don’t recall my brothers ever catching it either (well, maybe my oldest brother. Lol), but one of my old roommates talked about how her dad would do this, and I never knew what it was. Now that I know, I will pass the information on to her. 😉

  • Bradley says:

    A Man Cold may be a sign that he is seeking some TLC, and thus I too can relate……I need and appreciate TLC when my cup is empty. Wishing Rollin nothing but a speedy recovery and lots of TLC.

  • Spencer Robinson says:

    We men are such wimps! We can tough it through broken bones, serious wounds, even heart attacks. But colds?

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