Amy Rees Anderson

The Only Way To Take Sorrow Out Of Death Is To Take Love Out Of Life

“The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.”  -Russell M. Nelson

Eight years ago this week I received a phone call telling me that one of my very best friends in life, Steve Gasser, had passed away unexpectedly.  I remember the pain in my chest and that feeling of having the air sucked from my lungs as I crumbled to the floor in tears at the news. It was a feeling of overwhelming and absolute grief.

It took some time for the grief to feel bearable after losing my friend. Some days I had to remember to follow this advice:  “Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can!” – unknown

I have missed Steve every day for the last eight years. I have thought about him a million times…his smile…his hugs…the way he could always cheer me up and make me feel capable of anything…the way he listened without judgement…the example that he set of Christlike service to others….I still miss my friend every single day.

I am so grateful for my belief in life after death. I am grateful for my belief that I will see my friend Steve again in the next life and that he will be waiting to greet me when I someday pass to the other side with a huge smile and a hug. That belief helped more than anything else when it came to overcoming my grief.

“We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were…” – Thomas S. Monson

I believe that the best thing we can do when we lose a loved one is to commit to becoming the best person we can be ourselves so that when that day comes that we will have the chance to see our loved one again on the other side they will be proud of us for all the good we have done.

God be with you til we meet again my dear friend Steve Gasser (Amy Rees Anderson)

~Amy Rees Anderson



  • Jen Sampson says:

    Thanks for this sweet tribute to Steve. You have such a beautiful way of expressing the way I feel about him too. Thanks for sharing and keeping his memory alive. Grateful he has tied ya together. Hope you are well.

  • Freda (Freddie) Gasser says:

    Thank you for feeling so tenderly about my son. He truly loved the Lord and those he knew. “ Love” is the essence the Lord lives in, and I like to think Steven is there.

  • Anonymous says:

    “To us and to you, our loved ones may be just as close as the next room—separated only by the doors of death.” Russell M. Nelson

    Thank you for your post. I have have been blessed with experiencing a very, very thin veil at times, with my loved ones. They are in a very sacred and joyous place. I personally can’t wait to be with them, but there are many things I want to do, to overcome, to feel more worthy of being there.

  • Mustafa says:

    Hi Amy!A Fitting tribute you have shown us how to pay a tribute to a Dear Departed One be it a close friend like Steve or a family member.No one stay in this world forever and we must stop grieving at some point and be happy for them that they are now in a better place and one day we too will join them.Do pray for them and remember the good times you had together for sure.But don`t mourn their loss for too long.They are very happy where they are believe me.

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