Amy Rees Anderson

There Is No Such Thing As A Selfless Lie

There have been numerous scientific experiments which have proven that people lie for selfish reasons. Yet how often do we hear people say they lied to be selfless in order to protect the other person, or to avoid hurting the other person, or because they didn’t want the other person to think less of them, or some other reason such as that? But those excuses are as much a lie as the lie itself because lying never benefits the other person.

Telling someone a lie is not doing them a favor. You are not being protective or kind to someone when you are dishonest. You are being selfish and you are justifying that selfishness by telling yourself you did it for the other person. But the truth is that you did it for yourself and your own selfish motivations: perhaps you wanted their acceptance, or perhaps you wanted to paint yourself out to be something better than what you are, or perhaps you thought you could get gain with the lie – whatever the motivation is or was it is always a selfish one because there is no such thing as a selfless lie.

“Stop expecting loyalty from people who can’t even give you honesty.”

Without a doubt, telling the truth can often be hard. After all, it is FAR easier for someone to lie and tell us what we want to hear than it is for them to tell us the truth when they know the truth is something we aren’t going to be happy about. It takes real courage for someone to be willing to tell the truth when they know it is a truth that the other person isn’t going to be happy to hear.

“The truth may hurt for a little while but a lie hurts forever.”

When someone is willing to be honest with you, be grateful, because their being honest with you shows you that they trust you with the truth. Not only are they showing that they trust you, they are also proving that they respect you enough to recognize that you deserve to make your own choices with the knowledge of those truths.

The last thing we should ever do is punish someone else when are showing the courage to tell us the truth. Even if we find the truth to be painful or disappointment, the fact is that it is still the truth, and we are always far better off knowing the truth and being able to make our own choices with that truth then we will ever be from hearing lies.

Be grateful for those in your life who are willing to trust you with the truth. They are the people who are proving they truly do care about you, respect you, and are loyal to you.

~Amy Rees Anderson

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