My daughter Ashley wrote a great guest blog for me last week about how her definition of love is growing as she comes to understand more about what love and marriage are all about. Reading her post I couldn’t help but thing about how my own definition of love has grown tremendously over the years and how with each year of marriage the appreciation for what it really takes to love someone else – the unselfishness required, the forgiveness needed, the efforts that must be made, the patience that must be exhibited, and the level of unwavering commitment necessary…with time we come to recognize that love was a decision we made and actively stuck with through the good times and the bad until one day we can look back and see, as Carolyn Pearson explains in the lyrics to her song, “The Last Touch”, that we “knew that we knew what love was.”

“The Last Touch”  written by Carolyn Pearson:

Their first touch at 17 was in the park,
the moon was full: she was beautiful to him,
and her hair was long and her eyes were blue and her skin was warm;
she turned to him, and he thought that he knew what love was.

Another touch at 22 on their wedding night,
the stars were bright: she was beautiful to him,
and her hair smelled sweet and her lips were full and her skin was warm;
she turned to him, and he thought that he knew what love was.

Then again at 25 when the baby came,
and the sun was high: she was beautiful to him,
and her hair was damp and her fingers shook and her skin was warm;
she turned to him, and he thought that he knew what love was

Later on at 54 sitting on the porch –
all the children gone: she was beautiful to him,
and her hair was gray and her forehead lined, her skin was warm;
she turned to him, and he thought that he knew what love was.

Their last touch at 85 was by her bed,
and the moon was full: she was beautiful to him,
and her hair was thin, her eyes were closed, her skin was cold;
she turned to him, and he knew now he knew what love was.

After 68 years of laughter and tears,
he knew that he knew what love was.

Love certainly isn’t always easy. Nothing will challenge or change us more than loving another person will. But when we find that person who is equally committed to making it work, who values our same values, and who is willing to stand side by side as we celebrate the good times and we work through the bad, we’ll come to recognize that it was all worth it. But remember, in order to have that person we have to be that person ourselves…

~Amy Rees Anderson