Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
\nNothing would fit me, not even a blouse.<\/p>\n
The cookies I\u2019d nibbled, the eggnog I\u2019d taste
\nAt the holiday parties had gone to my waist.<\/p>\n
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
\nWhen I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).<\/p>\n
I\u2019d remember the marvelous meals I\u2019d prepared;
\nThe gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,<\/p>\n
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
\nAnd the way I\u2019d never said, \u201cNo thank you, please.\u201d<\/p>\n
As I dressed myself in my husband\u2019s old shirt
\nAnd prepared once again to do battle with dirt\u2014<\/p>\n
I said to myself, as I only can
\n\u201cYou can\u2019t spend a winter disguised as a man!\u201d<\/p>\n
So\u2013away with the last of the sour cream dip,
\nGet rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip<\/p>\n
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
\n\u201cTill all the additional ounces have vanished.<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t have a cookie\u2013not even a lick.
\nI\u2019ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
\nI\u2019ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m hungry, I\u2019m lonesome, and life is a bore\u2014
\nBut isn\u2019t that what January is for?<\/p>\n
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
\nHappy New Year to all and to all a good diet!<\/p>\n
-Unknown<\/p>\n
~Amy Rees Anderson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I\u2019d nibbled, the eggnog I\u2019d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[395,15510,20016,20022,3048,20021,20017,1919,3079,20018,20020,20019,20015],"class_list":["post-10429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-amy-rees-anderson","tag-amy-rees-anderson-award","tag-ate-too-much","tag-christmas-goodies","tag-diet","tag-fattening","tag-feeling-fat","tag-food","tag-happy-new-year","tag-meals","tag-my-diet-starts-tomorrow","tag-overeat","tag-twas-the-day-after-christmas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10429"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10429\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10432,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10429\/revisions\/10432"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}