Last\nweek we took our children and grandchildren to go ride the Polar Express train\nfor Christmas. As I was watching my daughter-in-law getting her two year old son\nand her four month old daughter ready to go it reminded me of how utterly exhausting\nit can be to a mother with small children. The feedings, the diaper changings,\nthe diaper bag loaded with about everything you own so you\u2019ll be ready for whatever\ndisasters strike while you\u2019re out and about, the children crying\u2026the mother\nwanting to cry\u2026it\u2019s just a lot! And it reminded me of a really cute letter a\nyoung mother wrote to Santa years ago which read: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dear Santa, <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve been a good mom all year. I\u2019ve fed, cleaned and cuddled my\ntwo children on demand, visited the doctor\u2019s office more than my doctor, sold\nsixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the\nschool playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter\u2019s\ngirl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several\nChristmases, since I had to write this letter with my son\u2019s red crayon, on the\nback of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I\u2019ll\nfind any more free time in the next 18 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are my Christmas wishes: I\u2019d like a pair of legs that don\u2019t ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don\u2019t flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I\u2019d also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you\u2019re hauling big ticket items this year I\u2019d like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn\u2019t broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that\nsays, \u201cYes, Mommy\u201d to boost my parental confidence, along with one\npotty-trained toddler, two kids who don\u2019t fight and three pairs of jeans that\nwill zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a\nrecording of Tibetan monks chanting, \u201cDon\u2019t eat in the living room\u201d and \u2018Take\nyour hands off your brother,\u2019 because my voice seems to be just out of my\nchildren\u2019s hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don\u2019t forget\nthe Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of\npreschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble\non any carpet making the in-laws\u2019 house seem just like mine. If it\u2019s too late\nto find any of these products, I\u2019d settle for enough time to brush my teeth and\ncomb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room\ntemperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don\u2019t mind\nI could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would\nit be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my\nconscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to\nhelp around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of\nan organized crime family; or if my toddler didn\u2019t look so cute sneaking\ndownstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw\nmy feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a\nsafe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and\ndry off by the fire so you don\u2019t catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the\ntable but don\u2019t eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yours Always\u2026Mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P.S. \u2013 One more thing\u2026you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know this is an especially crazy time of year for parents with young kids, but the PS in that letter is the part to hang onto, because one day when your kids are all grown up you’re gonna miss these times of them being little like crazy…<\/p>\n\n\n\n