I learned many lessons\nthrough my years of leading companies, but without question, the most\nsurprising thing I learned was this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The thing you can do that\nwill make you the strongest, is the thing that is most counter-intuitive to do:\n Be openly vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being vulnerable was not my strong\nsuit growing up. In my mind, being vulnerable meant being weak and available to\nbe hurt. That likely stemmed from the fact that my family moved numerous times\ngrowing up, which meant that I was constantly the new kid at school. Anyone who\nhas been the new kid before knows that a new kid is prime real estate for being\npicked on if they show even the slightest sign of weakness, or so I believed.\nSo I learned to hide my fears and to always act with confidence, which in many\nways served me well because it helped me to put myself out there and try new things\nthat I might not otherwise have been willing to try. It was that \u201cI can do\nanything\u201d attitude that likely led me to become an entrepreneur back when it\nappeared that all the odds were stacked against me. Allowing myself to be\nopenly vulnerable wasn\u2019t even a consideration back then and I would even say\nthat I took great lengths to avoid it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, as is often the case, life\nbegan teaching me some very valuable lessons as I was running my first\nbusiness. Not allowing myself to appear vulnerable meant I had to be perfect at\neverything. I had to be in control of everything because that was the only way\nto have the outcome turn out according to my perfect plans. It was exhausting.\nNot only was it exhausting for me, but it created a miserable situation for the\npeople I was leading. You see, if leaders can\u2019t allow themselves to\nbe vulnerable then they send a clear message that no one who works for them is\nallowed to be vulnerable either. Leaders who expect perfection from themselves\nare sending the message that they expect only perfection from those around them\nas well. It is an impossible expectation for anyone to live up to, both for the\nleader as well as the people they are responsible to lead, because the reality\nis that no one is perfect. No one. And try as we may in this life, none of us\nwill ever get there because we are, after all, only human, and as such we are\nby nature imperfect beings all striving to improve ourselves to the best of our\nability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I finally began to recognize\nthat my unwillingness to show vulnerability as a leader was causing everyone\naround me to feel inadequate and that was the last thing that I had ever\nwanted. My passion in life and my personal mission statement is \u201cto help others\nto excel\u201d, yet here I was creating an atmosphere that didn\u2019t allow anyone to\nexcel, including myself, because my lack of vulnerability meant that anything\nless than perfection was failure. I was instantly making all of us failures. I\nhad finally figured out that something had to change and that something was me.\nIt was time for me embrace being vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t say that \u201cbeing\nvulnerable\u201d takes courage because every single one of us are vulnerable whether\nwe acknowledge it or not. We are all vulnerable to disappointment, sadness,\nsickness, death, loss, failure, losing our job, losing love, and so on. But\nembracing our vulnerability, and even more important, openly embracing it, well\nthat does take courage, and lots of it! But it was through embracing my own\nvulnerability and admitting to my employees and clients that I was imperfect\nand making mistakes that I was learning and growing from, that I was able to\nbecome a truly strong leader. You see, the thing that made me strong was the\nsupport of those very people, who knowing I needed them, were willing to\nsupport me and stand by me and help me in my efforts to become a better leader\nand to lead our company to become a success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People who won\u2019t embrace\nvulnerability project a message of: I am perfect and you are not, so how\nthen can we ever relate? But if a person is admittedly imperfect and so are\nyou, then you instantly have a bond that allows you to relate to one another\nand a connection is formed. It is those connections that will cause people to\ngive you their very best efforts because they want to help you succeed. It is\nalso those connections that will cause people to look to you as someone they\ncan learn from because you have now given them permission to try and fail and\ngrow from it, just as you have. You are setting an attainable example for\nothers to follow and it is one that will truly allow them to excel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It takes courage to admit that you are not perfect. It takes courage to acknowledge that you cannot control the outcomes, especially when your entire job is to produce outcomes. But all of those things are the truth whether you admit them or not, so why not embrace them? You will never achieve perfection, so the most you can do is live your life in honest pursuit of it. You will never control the outcomes, so the most you can do is live your life controlling your best efforts. \u00a0You will never control how others feel about you or treat you, so the most you can do is control your ability to love others and treat them well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being openly vulnerable is the very thing that will make you strong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
~Amy Rees Anderson (author of the book \u201cWhat Awesome Looks Like: How To Excel in Business & Life<\/a>\u201d ) <\/p>\n\n\n\n