Amidst having a pity party for myself for my ‘oh, so stressful’ week, I came across an article that was absolutely perfect for kicking me in the behind and knocking some humor back into my pity-party self:<\/p>\n
How To Have a Mental Breakdown in 11 Easy Steps\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 –<\/strong>By Jason Kotecki<\/p>\n Have you ever wondered to yourself, \u201cHow can I add more stress to my life?\u201d Of course, we all have. But now, for the first time ever, comes a comprehensive guide to take the guesswork out of getting stressed. Never before has such a thorough, step-by-step guide to your very own mental breakdown been published, be it online or off. If you can master these easy to follow instructions, you too can be the envy of all your friends and find yourself well on your way to a life you\u2019ve only dreamed of!<\/p>\n 1. Treat traffic jams exactly as they are: carefully planned and sinister conspiracies designed to keep you from your destination.<\/p>\n 2. Pack your day so full that you are not distracted by superficial things like the sunset, the smell of roses, or the toddler smiling at you from across the grocery aisle.<\/p>\n 3. Avoid the time wasting activity known as sleep. For best results, try to keep it under four or five hours per night.<\/p>\n 4. Take everything seriously because, obviously, it is.<\/p>\n 5. Don\u2019t fall into the trap of expecting big, amazing, wonderful things to happen. They probably won\u2019t and you\u2019ll just end up disappointed anyway. And while you\u2019re at it, pat yourself on the back for outgrowing the silly practice of believing in things like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and God.<\/p>\n 6. Make sure you eat most meals either in the car, near the microwave, or from your recliner. If someone invites you to join them for a dinner that is likely to last more than fifteen minutes, respectfully decline.<\/p>\n 7. Don\u2019t bother asking questions. You probably know all the answers anyway. If you don\u2019t, just act like you do. And remember, \u201cBecause we\u2019ve always done it this way\u201d is a perfectly good answer to a almost every question.<\/p>\n 8. You can take some time for yourself, but only if you\u2019ve caught up on all of your work, your e-mail inbox is completely empty, your bills are paid, and your junk mail has all been alphabetically sorted. And the grass has been cut.<\/p>\n 9. If someone drags you on some sort of \u201cvacation,\u201d be sure to bring your beeper. Also, figure out the total time you\u2019ll be on said \u201cvacation\u201d and plan things to do and see that will accommodate roughly double or triple that time.<\/p>\n 10. Spend most of your waking hours \u2014 remember, you should be shooting for about 20 of those a per day \u2014 doing things that completely drain you. You know, the stuff you\u2019d never do in a million years if they didn\u2019t pay you such a good salary.<\/p>\n 11. If all else fails and you forget the other guidelines, a handy shortcut is to observe a child and do the exact opposite.<\/p>\n As you can see, a complete and utter mental breakdown does not require any extraordinary skills. By following these simple steps, literally anyone can have one. However, a failure to comply with the majority of the steps listed here may result in a life that is less-stressed and more fun and fulfilling. Good luck!<\/p>\n —————<\/p>\n Yes, the article was the perfect reminder that it is up to me to turn my week around and make it happy :).\u00a0 I am so glad I figured that out just in time for Friday! YIPEEEE! The weekend is almost here and I, for one, intend to have fun and be more like a kid – happy and carefree with absolutely no idea what it means to prepare a tax return!\u00a0 Happy weekend to all!<\/p>\n ~Amy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Amidst having a pity party for myself for my ‘oh, so stressful’ week, I came across an article that was absolutely perfect for kicking me in the behind and knocking some humor back into my pity-party self: How To Have a Mental Breakdown in 11 Easy Steps\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 –By Jason Kotecki Have you ever wondered to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2649,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[168,174,46,63,224,96,715,714,637,717,7,244,65,55,180,464,104,716,713,153,27,112,275,133],"class_list":["post-2706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adversity","tag-anxiety","tag-attitude","tag-blessings","tag-confidence","tag-culture","tag-drama","tag-emotion","tag-emotions","tag-enjoy","tag-future","tag-grateful","tag-gratitude","tag-happiness","tag-happy","tag-joy","tag-let-go","tag-letting-go","tag-mental","tag-positive","tag-self-confidence","tag-self-improvement","tag-stress","tag-weekend"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2706"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2706\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2710,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2706\/revisions\/2710"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2649"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}