{"id":4878,"date":"2014-08-11T17:00:30","date_gmt":"2014-08-11T23:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/?p=4878"},"modified":"2014-08-06T22:47:59","modified_gmt":"2014-08-07T04:47:59","slug":"talk-to-each-other-instead-of-about-each-other","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/talk-to-each-other-instead-of-about-each-other\/","title":{"rendered":"Talk to each other instead of about each other"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cA lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, anger, frustration, sadness\u2026.so many of these negative emotions all stem from the fact that two people don\u2019t talk to each other about things.\u00a0 It happens in the workplace, it happens in friendships, it happens in dating, it happens in families, and it happens in marriages.\u00a0 It happens all of the time between just about everyone \u2013 so why don\u2019t we fix it??<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t speak for you, but I know for me the times I hesitate talking it out with someone it usually stems from feelings of pride, or embarrassment, or a bad attitude on my part that takes the position that talking won\u2019t change anything before I have even given it a fair chance to find out.\u00a0 \u00a0It never comes from a positive attitude on my part, which tells me that it is never okay to justify not trying to talk it out.<\/p>\n

I do think we have to be careful about when we choose to talk something out with someone.\u00a0 Doing it in a group of people probably isn\u2019t appropriate.\u00a0 Doing it at a family or friends gathering probably isn\u2019t appropriate.\u00a0 Doing it in a moment when you are angry and defensive probably isn\u2019t appropriate.\u00a0 In order for a conversation to be meaningful and have the best chance of success you need to make sure it is done in a good setting.\u00a0 Ask to talk to someone alone where you can both speak freely.\u00a0 Wait until you have calmed yourself down and your head and heart are coming from a positive place before walking into the conversation \u2013 if you need a quick time out to calm down then take it before you start talking.\u00a0 When you need to have someone understand the importance of a conversation simply start it by saying \u201cthis conversation means a lot to me\u2026and some of what I need to talk about is hard for me so bear with me while I try to express what I am feeling\u2026\u201d sometimes letting the other person know right up front that it\u2019s important to you and it\u2019s difficult for you can set the groundwork that you both need to be open and that you are coming from a place of sincerity.<\/p>\n

Not communicating with someone when we really ought to is an easy habit to fall into.\u00a0 It is uncomfortable to talk about hard or emotional things.\u00a0 It is hard to admit when we are hurting or vulnerable.\u00a0 It\u2019s so much easier to just avoid someone or to talk negative about them to other people. That\u2019s probably why so many people do it.<\/p>\n

All I know is that the times I suck it up and just talk to the other person it has always led to a better place for us.\u00a0 Not every disagreement can be resolved, but the bad feelings from the disagreement can be if you try to respect and see each other\u2019s side.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to be in agreement with someone to have respect for each other\u2019s views.\u00a0 And even if the other person is unwilling to talk, the very fact that you tried allows you to walk away feeling good because you tried to the right thing and that is all you can do in life.<\/p>\n

Today’s challenge is to talk to someone you have been struggling with and see if you can’t come to a better place by communicating sincerely and from the heart.\u00a0 It certainly can’t hurt to try.<\/p>\n

~Amy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cA lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other.\u201d Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, anger, frustration, sadness\u2026.so many of these negative emotions all stem from the fact that two people don\u2019t talk to each other about things.\u00a0 It happens in the workplace, it happens in friendships, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3741,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[890,3691,1086,1544,287,645,650,2415,4540,4742,57,51,4744,1232,189,1067,3728,103,3431,38,11,1230,4741,209,723,544,4743,1569,693,694,341,1925,4746,4745,149,647,4747,4748,4656],"class_list":["post-4878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-avoid","tag-backbiting","tag-choose","tag-comfortable","tag-communication","tag-conversation","tag-dating","tag-disagreement","tag-disagreements","tag-discussion","tag-easy","tag-family","tag-family-dynamics","tag-fight","tag-friends","tag-gossip","tag-habit","tag-hurt","tag-justify","tag-leadership","tag-marriage","tag-misunderstanding","tag-negatve","tag-postive","tag-pride","tag-relationships","tag-relationshps","tag-respect","tag-right-place","tag-right-time","tag-siblings","tag-sincere","tag-sincerity","tag-speak-freely","tag-success","tag-talk","tag-uncomforable","tag-views","tag-vulnerable"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4878"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4878\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4879,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4878\/revisions\/4879"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3741"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}