My newly married daughter called me tonight and the conversation went something like this:\u00a0 Mom, I had just cleaned and dried the kitchen counter\u2026and he had totally watched me do it\u2026and then he took his dripping wet plate and laid it right on my freshly cleaned and dried counter!\u00a0 I asked him, \u201cDid you not just see me finish cleaning that counter?\u201d …he answered, \u201cYeah, I saw you clean it\u2026but it\u2019s fine\u2026it\u2019ll dry itself off\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Awwww\u00a0 husbands\u2026 we love \u2018em\u2026but some days we really wish they\u2019d consider the fact that no husband has ever been shot while doing dishes\u2026.just sayin\u2019\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
I have to say it was a lot of fun to be able to bond and laugh out loud with my daughter tonight as we talked about all the unique challenges we wives face living with our husbands.\u00a0 And let\u2019s face it, as women the expectations we had of men going into relationships that came from us spending years watching all those Nicholas Sparks romantic chick flicks definitely set us up for a teensy weensy little bit of disappointment when we got into actual relationships\u2026. most husbands don\u2019t want to sit and talk about emotional things for hours on end, and most husbands don\u2019t think to fold the laundry without being asked, and most husbands don\u2019t WANT to do the dishes even though we wives want them to WANT to\u2026oh yeah, and most husbands don\u2019t want to just sit and snuggle\u2026.<\/p>\n
There is no question that we as wives have to learn to adjust our expectations of our husbands from that overly idealistic picture we had in our minds or we are bound to find ourselves very unhappy unbelievably irritated A LOT of the time.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean we can\u2019t expect our husbands to be good men and good providers and good fathers, because we can and should. It just means we might need to realize that folding the laundry will never be as big a priority to them as it feels to us.<\/p>\n
And by the same token I think husbands need to learn that whenever their wife is mad or upset with them she\u2019s not actually upset so much by the \u201cwhat you did\u201d or \u201cwhat you didn\u2019t do\u201d \u2013 what she\u2019s really upset about is that \u201cwhat\u201d made her feel like you don\u2019t really love her \u2013 period \u2013 end of story.\u00a0 I know you men might see that as dramatic or illogical but it really is the underlying truth behind so much of what a wife is likely feeling in those moments.\u00a0 And know that a wife is not likely to tell you she feeling unloved in those moments because it\u2019s far easier say your mad at your spouse then it is to admit you feeling unloved (although wives I can tell you from the voice of experience that admitting something makes you feel unloved works far better for correcting his behavior than getting mad will). \u00a0Bottom line advice to husbands is \u2013 always stop and consider the message you are about to send before you do something like put a wet plate on your wives clean kitchen counter \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
Never forget:\u00a0 Happy Wife, Happy Life.<\/p>\n
~Amy Rees Anderson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My newly married daughter called me tonight and the conversation went something like this:\u00a0 Mom, I had just cleaned and dried the kitchen counter\u2026and he had totally watched me do it\u2026and then he took his dripping wet plate and laid it right on my freshly cleaned and dried counter!\u00a0 I asked him, \u201cDid you not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6672,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[17743,395,101,4579,3554,17752,17753,17740,17757,17755,17756,16451,17750,285,524,17758,17742,5488,17759,11,12531,17738,2414,17739,17744,17741,17748,17749,17737,17751,17747,17754,17745,17760,523,17746],"class_list":["post-9319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-alex","tag-amy-rees-anderson","tag-ashley","tag-bonding","tag-clean-house","tag-communication-in-marriage","tag-different-priorities","tag-do-dishes","tag-dramatic","tag-feeling-unloved","tag-getting-mad-versus-being-sad","tag-happy-wife-happy-life","tag-how-it-makes-her-feel","tag-humor","tag-husbands","tag-illogical","tag-just-sayin","tag-laugh-out-loud","tag-mad-at-your-spouse","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-advice","tag-marriage-humor","tag-men-and-women","tag-newlywed","tag-nicholas-sparks-movies","tag-no-husband-has-ever-been-shot-while-doing-dishes","tag-overly-idealistic-picture-in-our-minds","tag-reasonable-expectations-of-husnbads","tag-the-differences-in-men-and-women","tag-the-message-we-communicate","tag-the-message-we-send","tag-unloved","tag-unrealistic-expectations","tag-voice-of-experience","tag-wives","tag-you-dont-love-her"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9319"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9321,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9319\/revisions\/9321"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6672"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amyreesanderson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}