“When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” – David A Bednar
It’s a difficult thing to recognize that being offended is a choice we get to make. It’s far easier to think that an offense was forced upon us by someone else which requires us to now carry the burden of their offense upon our shoulders. And its easier to feel sorry for ourselves when we think of ourselves as victims. But in reality we aren’t victims at all and we do have a choice.
We can choose to forgive people for the ignorant, insensitive, and even purposeful things they do. Forgiving them isn’t something you are doing for them – its really something you are doing for yourself, because carrying the offense on your shoulders will only serve to weigh you down and keep you from being truly happy.
“Some take offense at incidents…and suffer their whole lives, unable to get past the mistakes of others. They do not leave it alone… That attitude is somewhat like a man being hit by a club. Offended, he takes up a club and beats himself over the head with it all the days of his life. How foolish! How sad! That kind of revenge is self-inflicting. If you have been offended, forgive, forget it, and leave it alone.” – Boyd K. Packer
Forgive, forget, and leave it alone. It will make your world a whole lot happier 🙂
~Amy Rees Anderson (author of the book “What Awesome Looks Like: How To Excel in Business & Life” )