“Love your Parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.”

Life the past few months has been a reminder that I am growing older, especially facing an empty nest.  However, in all my focus to deal with seeing my own children grow older I have honestly lost sight of the fact that my own parents are also growing old…

My parents stopped by the other day to drop off a belated birthday gift since I had out of town in Arizona on my actual birthday.  After we finished visiting I watched as my parents left my home and walked down my front steps toward their car. My father took my mother by the arm and slowly and carefully helped her step down the small steps of my porch.  As I watched them walk away it hit me really hard that parents were growing old…it hit me almost by surprise, which is crazy because it’s not as if they have become old all at once. It has been happening slowly over the span of many years.  But because my own life has been going through so much transition and change due to my kids growing up and moving out over these last few years, I had somehow simply failed to notice just how much my own parents were aging…and it made me feel sad.

As a child you see your parents as these invincible adults. We see our dads as these big strong men who work hard, protect us, and just take care of things.  We see our moms as our caretakers who are always there to make sure our needs are attended to that we always know we are loved.  I don’t know about all of you but for all of my life when I looked at my parents they seemed to be frozen at the same age. All through my growing up they looked the same age to me.  Strong and energetic and young.  That is how they have always seemed to me.  Always, that is, until now. Now I see a cute little white haired mom who is fragile and breakable, and I see a gray haired father who walks a little slower than he once did. Both now in their mid 70s the realization is finally hitting me that one day down the road (and I pray that it is many more years down the road still) these two people who have been the absolute rock and foundation for my life may no longer be on this earth with me.

It’s a thought I simply cannot imagine without breaking into tears. Even as I write this I can’t stop my eyes from welling up.  I am not ready for the day to come when my parents are with me anymore.  I’m just not.  They have been my guides and my anchor my entire life. Whenever I need advice I always know I can call my dad, and whenever I need sympathy I know I can call my mom.  And I don’t want to imagine a day when I can no longer pick up the phone and do that or when I can knock on their door and have them there to answer it. Yet it is a reality that I need to start to remember so that I don’t allow myself to take one moment I have with them for granted.

I need to make more time to spend with my parents. I need to make it a priority to spend quality time with them.  I need to make sure I get their advice now on the things I should know for the future so I don’t waste my chance to get it while they are still both here with me.  I need to ask them to tell me more stories about their own life and all the lessons they have learned that might someday be helpful to me.  I need to make sure I let them know how much I love them and what they mean to me while they are still here to hear it in person.

Every one of you reading this blog have parents that are aging if you are still blessed enough to have them on this earth. No matter how old your parents are the reality is that any of us could lose our parents at any time. Let’s all make an effort to make more time for them, express more love for them, and make sure they feel appreciated while we still have them with us.



  • Regi says:

    I really loved the way you written..even i cant control my tears while reading.. Dad and Mom are same for everyone, same love, affection…I believe they are the only souls who bless us wholeheartedly.. I love them very much 🙂


  • Bill says:

    Great insight on our parents aging.
    Years ago before my father and grandfather died, i set up a camera over my shoulder and asked them to tell me about their lives. I asked simple questions that led to spontaneous answers. I asked them to tell me the stories again that I loved as a kid. Ask for thier advise and insught on any subject. These videos are priceless. Written journals are wonderful. Stories captured on film with thier own voices and the twinkle in thier eyes will live forever.
    It is always better in person. Film is the next best thing to capturing our parents for future generations as well.
    Thanks again for your blog.

  • Simona Lakner says:

    How fortunate we are to live in the “new technology “world. A total stranger to remind me to “call my mother”I also was to busy to call my mother and of course , I never listened to anyone. If you all would know how very sorry I am, NOW. But of course it’s to late…. I am 84 and my husband is 93. Our children and grandchildren call us every 2-3 days. Is it luck, common sense or good upbringing? Whichever…thank G-d, us and my wonderful family! Another mother.

  • Kelvin says:

    I don’t mean this in an offensive way…BUT not everyone is lucky as you to have such supportive, understanding, parents. Many people do not have that experience with there parents, so just saying,it’s alot more challenging and complex watching there parents age and supporting them.I’m sure you are grateful.Besides that, everything else you have written in this article is spot on. It is very surreal watching parents age.You suddenly feel a shift with in you and feel a sense of loneliness like you never will again. Thanks for the article and hope your parents live along happy life.

  • Erika says:

    We learn something every day, and lots of times its that what we learned the day before was wrong.

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    Very nice blog

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  • steve says:

    Just visited my parents and have not seen themnbefore for a year, it just hit me that they are getting old and I need to spend more time with them.

  • korapakasupriya says:

    Pls write about feelings of the mothers in the old age homes

  • korapakasupriya says:

    Please grant my request…and thanks for the article I hope that ur parents be alive fr 100 years.

  • mars says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I myself couldn’t contain the tears in my eyes as I read your article. You’re a good daughter and I hope we all learn from what you realized and spend as much time with our parents as we could!

  • Ginn says:

    thank you AMY

    I promise myself form this moment on that i will love my parents (and inlaw) more and more.

  • Steve Ho says:

    I am reading your writting with tears . I love your writing so much . My english is not very well but i do understand every words of your story and I feel the same as you feel .I promise myself from now i will love and spend time with my parents more and more .Thanks so much for your writing .

  • Chris says:

    Great insights. I have spent many of the last few days crying as I realized the end is closer then I thought and wanted. As a man, I am naturally drawn to my mother and her family. She is healthy, walking nearly 4 miles a day, but her mind is fading faster and faster. Death is part of life, I just did not realize how fast it would get here.

  • Sanjay says:

    Wow ! Only my teary eyes can truly explain the emotion in this post. Thank you very much !!

  • Sh says:

    I broke into tears

  • Stacie Dean says:

    Hello Amy. I just read this piece and I am literally crying with all that I have. I lost my dad this September will be five years. He had Parkinsons.
    My mother is living and turned 70 two days ago. It seems like I notice her being more forgetful now. Her sweet precious hands are starting to get more wrinkled each day. She has let her hair go gray and I see her aging right before me. It is the hardest thing in the world. The last few nights I cry myself to sleep. None of us know how long we have left with our parents but to me the aging process has to be the hardest. I was looking for something tonight to read on this and felt like you were an angel and wrote this for me.

  • Ambika says:

    True! I wished my parents could lived longer. I have loved them the most throughout my life..
    Just wished that God had made some arrangements by which we could meet them once a year..even when pass away

  • Wendell Ladd says:

    I read your story and have been experiencing some of those same thoughts myself for some time.
    Two years ago, I had a health issue that brought me to death’s doorstep. I was hours from the afterlife but God had other plans.
    My whole life is so different now and I try to live each moment as if it were my last. Every time I have an opportunity to have a moment with anyone, but especially my loved ones, I only pray that I will experience every possible bit of the moment so that it will all be with me forever more.
    I only have one biological parent (mom) still living. She is now remarried and she’s 82 years old. I still call her everyday and see her as often as I can. I’m blessed with an opportunity to hear her speak at her church this very morning.
    I just made her a card and ended up writing a extra page worth in it, letting her know how blessed I am to be able to call her my mom and how much I love her. I also have to share her as she’s very active in mentoring other adults and children in her church and other community organizations. She has so much going on in her life as well as my stepfather (a retired pastor of over 50 years), I feel like I have to make an appointment just to get to see them. I don’t mind, as this helps keep them active and so many others can also share the blessing of having them in their lives as well.
    I try so hard to spend every possible opportunity trying to listen and learn from them and inspire to someday walk the same footsteps they now lead us with.
    I really enjoyed reading your story as I felt an emotional attachment to it. I couldn’t help the tears running down my face as I thought I feel those very feelings and I pray every day that I will never miss an opportunity to let them both know how much I love them.
    Thank You for sharing and may the Lord in Heaven bless you and your family all.

    Wendell Ladd

  • Chew Nee Kong says:

    Thanks for this beautiful article on your parents.

    I lost my mom in Oct last year, and till now I am devastated by her passing.

    I wish you and your parents all the best in your lives.

  • Anonymous says:

    All most 10 Month10days our mother keep inside her heart its so so painfull and whos child dont haue father just think . please with true love ask them..mom lets go for long drive .

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  • Muhammad Badhon says:

    You brought me to tears. I haven’t been home for almost 5 years ( living abroad) and somehow in these years my parents had transitioned to a different age bracket. One that is much older than I remember them to be. Nowadays whenever I see their photos, my heart just aches.

    Thanks for your writing. May God bless your parents with long and healthy lives.

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  • Melanie Sullivan says:

    You have exactly captured everything I feel about my parents. Thank you

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  • Atlantis says:

    Thank you for your sharing,amy. As I grow up and work in society,my parents are getting old.i wanna be a qualified daughter and take more care of them,but i don’t know how to.for example,as you say,we need to spent more time with them,but to do what,i am confused.may you give me some advice?thank you!
    sometimes i think i am selfish,i am sure i am.but i want to change a little .i want to be a good daughter,good staff and good friend,though it’s hard,but I’ll try.

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    It hit my heart so much. My eyes is getting teary while reading your story i cant control the tears flowing in my eyes and

  • Nicole says:

    Excelent! This past days I have been mad with both my father and mother, today, God took me to an old place in my house where photos are inside a box. I opened it and saw all the pictures since the moment I was born, I saw my mother with me and I thought “She exposed her life for me” and I feel sorry for each moment I didn´t talk to her. I was busy growing up and forgot they were getting older.
    We don´t know how much time we will have them. Live each day as if it was your last, God says in Ephesians 6:2 “”Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise– and the promise is to have a long life here on earth! Lets obey first our creator God and father #1 and then our parents here on earth!
    Do it before it is too late!

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  • Myrna says:

    I raised my two children alone, it was tough being both Mom & Dad but I took that wonderful job seriously. I always told my kids it was us three against the world. Now I’m 75 & my kids are busy with their lives, so are my three grandchildren, I never see them unless I track them down, none visit me. It hurts.

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  • Bharath iyer says:

    My mom has cancer and these thoughts are hitting me every single day. Thank you.

  • Cindy Armstrong says:

    Thank you for such beautiful words. Both my parents have passed and I miss them everyday. If I had one more day with them. I have three grown children. One is married with two kids and 3 step kids. The other two are not married and both have two kids. All but two of my grandkids are grown and out of school. Last week I rode to my granddaughters graduation with my daughter, her husband and my 17 year old grandson. It’s an 9 hour drive so we had plenty of time to visit. Coming home I cried and said that would probably be the last time I seen those two grandkids again. My grandson looked at me and said “don’t say that Mimi.” I told him that I am getting old and they said they were never moving. That’s a really long trip for me to travel and that we are not promised tomorrow. I just wish my kids and grandkids would open their eyes before I’m gone. They love me, but their all so busy with their lives they never call or come see me. The only time I talk to any of them is when I contact them. I now have 3 great grand babies and never get to see them or get pictures of them.

  • Anonymous says:

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  • Anonymous says:

    So true too late when we die very nice

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