Today I received an email from a dear friend who expressed her struggles to keep up with everything in her life while also attempting to be a good mother, which she usually feels she is failing at miserably. As I read her email I couldn’t help but think of how so many of us struggle with the feeling that as hard as we are trying we still fail that there are areas of our life we feel as though we are failing miserably…whether it is as a parent, or in our jobs, or as a friend, or in our civic duties…I think most of us carry around a feeling that we are somehow falling short in one or more areas of our lives…
So how can we stop feeling that we are failing miserably that most of us struggle with? I think there are a few things that can help us on that front:
- Stop comparing yourself to someone else. I think where we go wrong on this one is that we compare ourselves to multiple people – each of whom excel in one area of life – so we compare our motherhood skills to the person we deem as the perfect mother, and then we compare our work skills to someone we deem perfect at work, and then we compare our friendship skills to someone who we deem to be the perfect friend. We don’t just compare ourselves to one single person – we compare ourselves to the best person in each area of life and that is an impossible comparison to live up to. We are not ten people who are each perfect in a different area – we are one person who is trying to do everything at once. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and start comparing ourselves to beating our best self each day. Start with where you are today and try to do a little better tomorrow – then let that be enough.
- Stop judging yourself by every little imperfection – rather judge yourself by the entire person you are over the course of time. When you have one bad day don’t let that one bad day define who you are – it was one day amongst a thousand days in which you did great – judge yourself by the big picture rather than being micro-focused on every little thing.
- Look at your failures as a chance to change and improve. Consider the mistakes you have made a chance to repent and make things even better than they were before. Don’t look at these as the end, rather look at them as a chance for a new beginning.
- Get more sleep. It’s easier to believe the voices of insecurity in your head when you are tired and rundown. Sleep deprivation can cause you to believe all kinds of garbage that isn’t true. Go to bed. Put in ear plugs. Get a good night’s rest and wake up tomorrow refreshed.
- Acknowledge that it IS hard to do it all. Heck it’s downright impossible to do it all, so don’t expect that you can. Know that you are not alone in your feelings of inadequacy. Be assured that even those people out there who seem to have it all and who seem to do it all perfect are actually struggling just as much as you – whether it’s a house that is a mess, or kids that won’t stop fighting, or a job they dislike, or money problems, or family problems, or whatever it is – the point is that everyone is struggling with something and everyone battles feeling of failing. All they and you can do is to do your best. That’s it. That is all you can do. Just do the very best you can do each day and allow yourself to feel good about that, because THAT IS ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Have an awesome day everyone and remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH!